Last night we received word that Junior had formed some soft manure, and his impaction was palpating a "LITTLE" differently. It was such a small change, but such welcome news after this long, that we walked to our barn and talked about rearranging panels for him to make a runout pen to use during his recovery at our home.
This morning, despite my car's dead battery (when it rains, it pours!), I was optimistic. As we ran around town dealing with getting the battery replaced, we waited for our daily morning call from the vet clinic.
When the news came, it wasn't what we'd hoped. He was back to no change.
I was pushed to the breaking point. I fell silent for a while, then blurted out the question "What if we did surgery? I know it doesn't make sense, I know it's not what we decided, and I know he still might not make it. I know we don't need to spend this money. But this horse has tried his heart out for us, and maybe he deserves this last chance. Maybe we should go with our hearts."
Cabbage listened, and we talked about Junior, and the additional financial strain. We talked about our responsibilities and how they balance. We called the vet to see if Junior was still operable, and what he felt the horse's chances of recovery would be.
I don't know why I felt we needed to re-evaluate our decision. I just know this horse has captured our hearts with his will to survive, and we aren't ready to give up on him. He can't do any more, and we can't do any more medically.
It was an emotional, tense few minutes.
A few minutes ago the text was sent to the vet: "Please operate on him ASAP."
Come on, Junior. You can do it.