Yes, we do actually have to watch this. Let me explain this. It's our obligation to watch stupid made-for-tv Christmas movies. And they can only have two themes: some spin on A Christmas Story or two people about to marry the wrong person, finding each other on Christmas Eve.
What exactly were we thinking when we picked out this tree?
It looks fine. Just keep putting ornaments on it.
Whoever the hell invented popcorn ceilings should be taken out back and beaten.
Are you the biggest, baddest dog? Will you bite em for me? Atta girl. You're mean. Mean.
Man, this is the best pizza you ever made.
You say that every time.
Yes, and it's true every time.
I love egg nog. Just don't remind me it's got raw-ish eggs in it or I'll gag.
Merry Chistmahanuschwanzakah. That should cover it.